Bumblin' On

 

By Frank Filocomo

I predicted Bumble's downfall. 

On a July 22nd episode of The Frank Forum podcast, I explained to my co-host Troy Olson what made Bumble different from other dating apps:

"Bumble is an app where the woman messages you first, meaning that no one meets."

That latter part of the description was meant to be a joke. Well, turns out it was quite the prescient remark, if I do say so myself.

Writing for The Independent, Helen Coffey explained that "as of 11 August, Bumble has axed the one feature that distinguished it from its peers, and is now enabling either men or women to contact a match first."

Would you look at that. Turns out that women are not interested in initiating romantic conversation with men. They have willingly relinquished the power that Bumble granted them.

From the article:

The biggest issue seems to be that, for all that we think we’ve come a long way in terms of challenging gender stereotypes, some stubbornly persist regarding heterosexual relationships. “Women don’t make the first move very often; even when they’re explicitly told they can do it, it’s so entrenched in our society and culture that they’d rather not,” says Blears.

Though her male clients are very open to being approached, “the reality is that, for a lot of women, they would still prefer it if a man made that initial contact”.

This is backed up by Bumble’s own data – hence the app’s sudden pivot to allowing messaging from either party – which found that nearly two-thirds of women globally (66 per cent) surveyed said they prefer men to send the first message.

This checks out. 

Way back when - a few years ago, that is - I, too, was on Bumble, and let me tell you: It was a barren wasteland of an app. You could practically see tumbleweeds roll by as your matches would remain reticent to make the first move. 

On the rare occasions that they would message you, it was usually something along the lines of "hey," or maybe, if you were lucky, "how's your day been?"

Minimal effort, in other words. 

Not to sound like a manosphere mouth-breather - I can't stand those guys - but the fact of the matter is that men are expected to put in a lot more effort than women when it comes to those introductory messages. A simple "hey" will never work for a man, unless he looks like Fabio, or whomever the current heartthrob is these days.

Women soon learned that their perfunctory opening lines were being met with a deafening silence, and they hated it. Then again, no one likes the taste of their own medicine. 

Users' responses to the news have been entertaining:

"Should rebrand to fumble," wrote a commentor on Reddit. 

"Back when I tried bumble most women's initiations were either 'hi' or liking a photo, rarely had conversations that I didn't do the work to start," wrote another Redditor. 

This one was quite good: "Bumble in its prime was so validating because women are as cringe as men when making the first move."

I don't know, perhaps some things are better left alone...