The Goodness of Bikes

 

By Patrick Trouba
Cities are giving more space to bicycles. But… why bikes?

Perhaps you’ve noticed: American cities are dedicating an increasing amount of space for use by people travelling on bicycles. Less controversially, this takes the form of shared use paths, sometimes called multi-use trails, but to most people, simply, “trails.” More controversially, this takes the form of bike lanes. Some of these bike lanes even have barriers to keep the cars out. You might hear these called “protected” or “separated” bike lanes, or “cycle tracks.”

But… why? Why would it be important to serve bikes in this way? The question is understandable. Most people drive (by “most,” I mean, “enough to make driving normative”), so people understand the goodness of driving. Driving is comfortable, and feels fast. Many people also intuit the goodness of sidewalks: it’s important to have a safe place to walk, even if only for walking the dog or getting your steps in.

Bicycles, on the other hand, seem like a strange third party. Cycling is something most people abandoned in childhood, and a few still do it for fun in bright Lycra outfits, using the city streets the same way a jogger uses the adjacent sidewalks - nothing we need to think too much about.

But what if, like cars and walking, bikes, especially as transportation, had a particular goodness to them? Something that went a little deeper than the commonly touted benefits of saving gas money or reducing pollution? Something that explains why they shouldn’t go away, even though the car is dominant. That’s what I’ll explore here.

Bikes are an important step in providing true choice in transportation.

The first point to the goodness of bikes is that bikes are an important step in providing true choice in transportation. In the majority of America, Americans are dependent on their cars; loss of access to a car doesn’t mean less convenient mobility, it means no mobility at all. This is what philosopher Ivan Illych called a “radical monopoly”: you can choose between Toyotas and Hondas, Fords and Chevys, but you cannot choose between cars and not-cars. Even though some fear being “forced out of their cars” when cities attempt to improve different transportation modes, the reality is that we are forced into them daily.

It may come as a surprise to those who have only known cycling as a sport, but bikes are highly versatile for transportation. Bikes can carry cargo in baskets or panniers, attached to front or rear racks. They can pull it in special bike trailers. Sometimes the cargo is precious: small children are often carried in attached seats or in those same bike trailers.

Cargo bicycle

With a little creativity, bikes interface with other vehicles in surprising ways. Bikes can be loaded onto some public transit vehicles using special racks, hooks, or in the case of my hometown KC Streetcar, simply rolling it on board. Each vehicle functions as a range extender for the other. Some bikes can be folded up so they don’t need special accommodations at all. Electric-assist technology presents yet another force-multiplier for bikes. With the increasing uptake of e-bikes, and with the price of a good e-bike matching the price of a clunker car, arguments against the practicality of bikes are dwindling. Combining e-assist and capacity, an increasingly popular style of cargo bike is the “bakfiet,” which features a large bucket container in the front. American bakfiet owners probably carry children more often than they do cargo.

We should question whether the speed of our cars is worth the independence of our kids.

While bikes can carry children, one of the best arguments for the goodness of bikes is one that many people, including myself, don’t talk about enough: bikes are the most widely available mobility enhancing device operable by children. Yet, between isolated subdivisions and the high-speed roads that form dangerous barriers in built-out urban areas, children’s mobility is subordinated to the preferences of driving adults. Parents are then saddled with the duty of chauffeuring their children into their early teens. We should question whether the speed of our cars is worth the independence of our kids.

Bikes are also good because they represent transportation that honors the function and needs of the human body. Just as the automobile is an amazing invention because it converts small explosions into motion, the bicycle is an amazing invention because it takes walking - the natural transportation function of the human body - and multiplies its efficiency and effectiveness. This is good because the human body needs to move. In our culture, we have steadily built up the notion of the good life as one where we are not moving and sitting most of the time. We are now realizing that this is not ideal after all. Still, too often movement (and biking itself) is seen as merely recreational. We need to recognize that recreational exercise has become so important to us today because so few of us have few opportunities or incentives for useful, low-impact movement. Enter bikes: the device that can fulfill your need to move your body and your need to get milk from the store at the same time (provided you’re not threatened by cars). This is not to say that all transportation needs to give you exercise to be good. It is simply to say that bodily movement is part of what makes bikes good.

Encountering your neighbors on a bike - and riding with them! - is the best of what city life has to offer, and it’s a rare pleasure more people should experience.

The last point of the goodness of bikes I want to highlight is that they honor the purpose of the city. The purpose of the city is to bring people and things together. This is why people live in them and keep building them. Building a city with cars as the normative form of transportation undermines this purpose. Among other issues, it sprawls people out so they need to travel an artificially long distance to see each other. It also creates the impression that the city is not made of people at all, but cars. Bikes do the opposite: they remind us that the city is made of people, because you see them riding. Interaction with others in the city is always much easier outside of cars. I wave at my neighbor sitting on his porch when I ride by on a bike. That doesn’t happen when I drive by instead. The other day I bumped into someone I knew through work. We were both on bikes; he was transporting his daughter in a bakfiet. We were able to ride together and chat until we reached a natural splitting point. Encountering your neighbors on a bike - and riding with them! - is the best of what city life has to offer, and it’s a rare pleasure more people should experience.

Woman riding cargo bicycle

So, if we were to agree on the goodness of bikes, and if we were to agree that this goodness meant that their usage should be encouraged, not discouraged … what would that take? What would it look like? There are a couple of possibilities.

The first possibility is the one that some advocates have been encouraging and some cities have been pursuing: facility separation. While cyclists have the same legal status as motorists on most streets, “nobody bikes here” because streets are built foremost with cars in mind, and people intuitively understand that cars and bikes are not the same thing. They show vast differences in speed and weight. Bike lanes have been the front-line tool to account for this discrepancy. As time has gone on, those who work in bike planning have noticed that merely because a bike lane is present doesn’t mean it’s inviting. Riding on a bike lane with a single line of paint between you and traffic flying at 45 miles per hour will help you jump-start your prayer life and surrender to God’s Will, but it might be a spiritual experience you’ll only want to have once. This is where the vertical barriers that separate cars from bikes come into play. American cities are experimenting with different forms of separated bike lanes now. The other major form of separation is the shared use path (a “trail”) which cyclists and pedestrians share. In my region, some cities are starting to build these behind the curb when they do street rebuilding projects; they look like extra-wide sidewalks. What form of separation a city chooses for a given street can have a lot of factors, both engineering and political.

The second possibility also solves for speed and weight differentials, but in the “simple, but not easy” way: the cars would slow down. Way down. Charles L. Marohn, Jr., author of Confessions of a Recovering Engineer, proposes only two types of driving rights-of-way: streets and roads. Roads are high-speed connections between two places. Streets are low-speed access points to properties; they are “platform[s] for building community wealth.” Instead of this system, we have built a system of “stroads,” where we both drive relatively fast and access all commercial properties from our cars.

Motorists in the United States have certain expectations about how day-to-day driving should work and feel. 

Both of these possibilities seem remote (the second more than the first), for cultural reasons. Motorists in the United States have certain expectations about how day-to-day driving should work and feel. They should always be able to drive at relatively high speeds, even within neighborhoods, perhaps because movement feels much slower inside a car when driving one than it does outside of a car when getting passed by one. No street treatment accommodating pedestrians, cyclists, or public transit should ever make it “hard to drive” - as if operating a modern car with comfortable seats, power steering, hydraulic brakes, and a light-touch accelerator pedal could ever be described as “hard” - even though most such projects still include lanes for driving. Nor should we engineer streets to make motorists drive slower, even in neighborhoods or school zones - this would count as “hard to drive.” We must settle for begging them to slow down with signs and hoping there is a police officer around to issue them tickets if they don’t. Pedestrians and cyclists are admonished for not following car-style traffic laws to the letter, even though the motorist wields thousands of pounds of kinetic force and should rightfully have the responsibility to defer to people who aren’t in the same weight class.

At the top of the article, I used the word “normative” in relation to driving. Motorists know at an intellectual level that they should “share the road,” but the culture I described above reinforces that there is only one normal mode of ground transportation, and it always takes priority. Motorists should understand that they are one mode among several, and all have the potential to grant freedom. They should understand that while speed is a good in transportation, it is not the only good, particularly in an urbanized area. They should understand their effect on those outside of their vehicles, because there will always be somebody outside of a vehicle. I have an inkling that, while separated cycling infrastructure is very good, pairing it with a different driving culture would be the most sustainable way to ensure that more people, including children, can take full advantage of the goodness of bikes. In the meantime, I hope you find the opportunity to experience that goodness for yourself.


This article was first accepted by Preamble magazine. Patrick Trouba is a transportation planner working in the Kansas City metropolitan area. 

Elaine Benes Was Right

Elaine Benes in Seinfeld

Elaine Benes was right: "Quit telling your stupid story about the stupid desert!" 

In a famous episode of Seinfeld (aren't they all?), Elaine put her job on the line over her intense dislike of the 1996 Oscar-winner, The English Patient. Over the past few weeks, it's been easy to mock how irrelevant the Oscars and Hollywood in general have become, but a look back on the values of this Best Picture winner made in 1996 shows how far removed from old fashioned American values we already were then. 

It doesn't matter that the film was a period piece set in the years leading up to the Second World War until its end, the values of it are decidedly the era of egocentric "end of history" analysis that brainwashed a few generations into thinking that globalization was an inevitable weather pattern, there was nothing we could do about it, and not to worry because it's overwhelmingly good.

1990s America (Hollywood) - maybe the last successful decade we've had, where community and family and the overall trajectory of the country still felt secure - awarded this as its Best Picture of the Year that had the benefit of hindsight while promoting values far removed from the values that won the Second World War. 

Now consider a great film: Casablanca - made at the height of that war, when its outcome was still very much in doubt - is told with a confidence and value-set that almost assumes its victorious outcome. Premiering in late-1942, what makes the film particularly remarkable is that it was considered an ordinary assembly-line Hollywood picture of its day, despite its A-list stars. 

Casablanca (1942)

Rick Blaine is a quintessential American original whereas "The English Patient" (who is Hungarian), László Almásy, is a "citizen of the world." 

One of the film's most memorable lines is: "We are the real countries, not the boundaries drawn on maps with the names of powerful men." That is not a line born out of shared sacrifices abroad and Rosie the Riveter and silent, stoic, and resilient children at home. That is the dialogue not of the 1940s values, but of the 1990s where globalization is eternal and final, tech optimism reigned, and we'd probably never have a major war again... or something. 

The romance that is central to both films is told mostly or entirely through backstory, and again settles on radically different conclusions. 

Blaine's individualistic streak is evident throughout the film, yet by the end he arrives at the honorable end that serves the war effort. The culture churned out those ethics, built on community and obligation, which allowed its ordered liberty and individualism to strengthen the civics of a nation, whether through the little platoons of Tocquevillian democracy, or through the cultural ethos that produced so much greatness that it overcame flaws without coming undone. Rick Blaine was admirable because he was selfless in the end.

Rick Blaine was admirable because he was selfless in the end.

Whereas Almásy sells out his country and his friends in pursuit of "love," which is really just an infatuation with a married woman. 

With its glorious shots of the desert and sweeping romantic score, there is no doubt that The English Patient is technically impressive and designed to win you over, not just cinematically, but in its values, too. 

This, too, is another area where Casablanca triumphs, which ends in sacrifice for something greater than yourself for many of its characters, not just the lead. This is what the ethos of globalization infecting the 1996-made period piece gets wrong. It is the people within the countries, the families and communities and nations that make up those boundaries and lines on a map if you're doing it right. It is the social trust and sense of mutual obligation we have to another that counts at history's pivotal moments. And whether we are at one such moment or not, stop telling your stupid story about the stupid desert indeed, and let's get on with rebuilding our social trust and sense of mutual obligation to one another, and eschew the rootless and unmoored society of users, strangers, and libertines.


Troy M. Olson is an Army Veteran, lawyer by training, and co-author of ‘The Emerging Populist Majority’ available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Target. He is the Sergeant-at-Arms of the New York Young Republican Club and co-founder of its Veterans Caucus. He has appeared on CNN, CBS, and OAN. He lives in New York City with his wife and two children, and is the 3rd Vice Commander (“Americanism” pillar) of the first new American Legion Post in the city in years, Post 917. You can follow him on X/Twitter and Substack at @TroyMOlson

The Power of Intergenerational Connectedness

 

Photo from WBUR website

I often remark that the elderly are like invisible people: We get irritated when they walk too slow, take too much time sorting through their expired coupons at the grocery store check-out, or strain to hear us when we speak to them. 

To many young and middle-aged people, they're nothing more than a burden. Their utility, in other words, is all used up. 

The fact of the matter, though, is that many elderly people are the best of us. 

In Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, where I live, I often see old men wearing Vietnam veteran caps. These guys are bad asses, and God knows what they've seen. My dad makes it a habit to offer to buy them breakfast. 

We owe them a debt of gratitude. 

When they are unwell, we should see it as our problem.

According to The University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging from 2024, 33.4% of respondents between the ages of 50-80 reported feeling a lack of companionship "some of the time" or "often."

This is inexcusable. 

One group, though, is taking it upon themselves, not only to help ameliorate loneliness in the elderly, but to do it by engaging young people, many of whom also report feeling exceedingly isolated.  

Matter Neuroscience, a health and wellness company founded in 2019, has taken some innovative steps towards bridging the gap between lonely boomers and zoomers. 

As reported by CNN, "a team from Matter Neuroscience has refurbished two old payphones and set one up at a coffee shop near Boston University, and the other at a retirement community in Nevada. The signs read, 'call a boomer,' and 'call a zoomer,' and they automatically ring to the other side when you pick them up."

This is called intergenerational connectedness. The elderly need not be constrained to the company in their retirement communities. Using twenty-first century technology, they can easily be connected with a young person 3,000 miles away. 

Marilyn Onkka, a 70-year-old caller that CNN interviewed, said that "you can end up talking with somebody that - in our short lives, with the time we have left - can become a long-time friend." 

Here's a little bit from a WBUR article about the payphones:
When Marcantonio picked up the phone on BU’s campus, it rang a few times, then 73-year-old Maria Jaynes answered. Jaynes lives in Reno, Nevada, at a Volunteers of America senior affordable housing community. The payphone inside the senior center looks similar to the one in Boston, but instead, it reads “call a zoomer.”

Marcantonio and Jaynes talk about the weather, comparing the 20-degree chill in Boston to the 80-degree-and-sunny forecast in Reno. Marcantonio asks Jaynes what activities the senior center has planned for the week, and Jaynes tells him she likes playing bingo, doing puzzles and watching movies.
I hope more inventive projects like this catch on. There's no reason for anyone - whether they be boomers or zoomers - to be devoid of social connection. 

Sorry, Piers, but Dave Rubin Is Right

 


Welp, it looks like Dave Rubin and Piers Morgan are beefing on X...

Earlier this month, Rubin posted the following clip:

Rubin rightly remarked that Morgan's provocative show is only "adding fuel to the fire." In other words, in a political climate where tensions are already high and debate is rife with invective and ad hominem attacks, Morgan's show - which is really nothing more than dumb caricatures of liberals and conservatives screaming at each other for an hour - is the last thing America needs. 

During the conversation, Morgan didn't really rebut Rubin's assertion, calling it a "pretty fair criticism" and saying that other critics of his show have called him "the Jerry Springer of political debate."

Shortly after the clip was posted, however, Morgan wrote on X that Rubin "won’t ever be doing my show again, in any capacity."

Whatever Dave's politics, I completely agree with him here. 

In fact, I've written about the toxic nature of Morgan's show before. Below is an article I wrote in October of 2024. I had it sitting in my drafts, and figured it was timely:

We are 35 days away from choosing our next president. Crazy how fast time flies, eh?

I don't need to harp on our societal scourge of hyper-polarization; we all see it. This is not Reagan v. Mondale; according to the legacy media, this is about safeguarding democracy. 

When people carelessly say ridiculous things like, "democracy is hanging by a thread," it gives us the impression that things are way worse and way more severe than they actually are. Democracy is, in fact, not hanging in the balance. While there is certainly a lot at stake in November, we'll be fine either way. 

Thankfully, we have smart, reasonable people, like the State Policy Network's Erin Norman and Lura Forcum, providing us with thoughtful research. Their 2024 study, Beyond Polarization, is instructive. When I interviewed Erin for a National Review article back in July, she reiterated to me that ideological pluralism is part of our National DNA. "America," she remarked, "is a very large nation that, from the very beginning, was made up of lots of separate communities that had their own traditions and their own ways of doing things.” 

If you were to just look on X or other social media, however, you would not see a healthy sort of pluralism. Rather, you would see a people on the brink of civil war. Piers Morgan's YouTube channel is particularly awful. Just look at the thumbnails he chooses for his videos. They capture the most combative points of his program. Often, the thumbnail displays two people on opposing sides of a debate angrily gesticulating at each other and making faces. What's more, many of the guests he chooses to bring on are nothing more than pseudo-intellectual political provocateurs, that are not debating in good faith. 

Look at this screenshot of Morgan's YouTube channel. His viewership is high, but at what cost? His channel is, ultimately, a schlocky platform for caustic nonsense. 


Need a palate-cleanser? I would highly recommend Mark Halperin's 2Way program on YouTube. Here, Halperin's motto is "peace, love, and understanding." Another thing Halperin often says is that you should make it a point to give people, especially those whom you disagree, "the presumption of grace." This is a marked difference from Morgan's highly divisive click-bait. 

Now look at this screenshot of Halperin's YouTube channel:


Big difference, right? The problem, however, are the very disparate viewership numbers: outrage sells. 

But high blood pressure sucks. There's no need for it. I fully believe the American body politic to be more than capable of engaging in civil, thoughtful dialectic. 

If you're looking for a dose of humor with your civil debate, I would also check out Robert Wright's Nonzero YouTube channel. His episodes with Mickey Kaus are especially rich.


Enjoy, and do send me your podcast recommendations! 

Netflix's 'The Singers' Tackles Social Isolation

 

Photo from Oscar-nominated film, The Singers

The Singers captures man's desire for brotherhood and fraternity. 
While scrolling LinkedIn today, I stumbled upon the below post from my friends at the Foundation for Social Connection: 


Aside from the odd documentary, I don't really frequent Netflix much. In fact, most of the content on there seems thoroughly unappealing. 

So, I was surprised when I came across something that actually looked substantive. 

At just 18-minutes long, Sam Davis's The Singers says a lot in a short duration of time. 

Taking place in a dimly lit dive bar - the kind of bar where credit card isn't accepted, the bathroom's paper towel dispenser is always empty, and outsiders are looked at with skepticism - The Singers captures man's desire for brotherhood and fraternity. 

Through song, the men at the pub - many of whom look like they've been through hell - transcend their real-world circumstances, and enter into another realm. 

For them, pain, loneliness, and isolation is quotidian. Music, however, disrupted all of that and ushered in a needed catharsis. 

Suddenly, they weren't all alone anymore. 

The film is spiritual, really. Do yourself a favor: Take 18-minutes out of your day and watch it.

You can thank me later. 

Some Positive News

 

Photo from X: @NYCMayor

Unfortunately, I haven't time to write much of anything this week, as I'll be traveling. 

I will, however, leave you with this X post from New York City's Mayor, Zohran Mamdani:

I don't care what anyone says: collaboration between the Mayor and President Trump is a good thing

On X, pollster Frank Luntz wrote the following: "If Zohran and Trump can work together, the rest of us have no excuse not to do the same."

Hard agree. 

Anyway, see you next week!

Smoke, Drink, and Be Merry

 

Photo: @PintsO_Guinness on X


There's no escaping the fact that drinking is, indeed, a "social lubricant."

Last month, Dr. Mehmet Oz - formerly known as "America's doctor" during his time on The Oprah Winfrey Show, and now Administrator for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services - remarked that "alcohol is a social lubricant that brings people together," adding that "there's probably nothing better than having a good time with friends in a safe way."

He said this in the context of the Trump administration's changing of the U.S. dietary guidelines. 

In an article for NBC News, Aria Bendix writes that:
Whereas the previous dietary guidelines said alcohol consumption should be limited to one drink per day for women and two for men, the new ones simply recommend limiting alcohol consumption 'for better overall health.'

This looser, more ambiguous language regarding alcohol consumption is rather surprising considering that President Trump is famously a teetotaler, citing his late brother Fred's alcoholism as the reason he's always abstained from the sauce. 

In a 2024 interview with podcaster and comedian Theo Von, Trump spoke in an uncharacteristically vulnerable way about Fred, saying that he was a "very handsome guy" who succumbed to his addictions. Trump reiterated his oft-repeated line: "No drugs, no drinking, no cigarettes."  

What's more, people forget that at the end of former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy's tenure in 2025, he issued the following Advisory: Alcohol and Cancer Risk. In it, the Office links alcohol consumption to "at least seven different types of cancer." Here is Dr. Murthy on Wolf Blitzer's show cautioning against even moderate use. 

Even still, the Trump administration has decided to prioritize the adverse effects of social isolation. 

At Healthsperien's "Action for Progress" conference in DC earlier this month, Dr. Oz remarked that "loneliness is a massive problem." 

It's encouraging that the administration is - in a thoughtful way, and while also acknowledging the detriments of too much alcohol use - drawing attention to the benefits of social drinking, something that I've written about before.  

Here's an excerpt from a National Review article I wrote with Joe Pitts in February of last year:

Up and down the ages, taverns, pubs, and dive bars have served as institutions where new friendships, romances, and even political movements have been set into motion. Alcohol is a social lubricant, not to mention that there’s something simply satisfying about drinking a cold glass of beer with friends, new and old.

From my own personal experience, the strongest community I've found here in Brooklyn has been at my local pub, and it's not even close. 

And, while we're at it, I think we ought to entertain a more controversial idea: Cigarette smoking also fosters community, albeit usually short-lived. 

In November of last year, I wrote a short blog post on a cigarette smoker meet-up that took place in Washington Square Park:

After giving the crowd some obligatory admonishments about how smoking is bad for you (blah blah blah), Terry started ripping stogies with a youthful and care-free swagger... Unfortunately, vices like smoking and drinking loosen people up, thus making them more amenable to conversing with each other. 

A TikToker with the username @justpeers articulated the communitarian nature of cigarette smoking well:

"Cigarette smokers," she says "are the only people I've ever interacted with who give with no expectation of receiving anything in return." 

That is, if one smoker sees another without a cigarette in hand, they'll offer them one from their pack with no questions asked, and with no expectation of immediate reciprocity. It's just the right thing to do. They look out for each other.

One comment to the video read: "'Can I buy a cig off you?' absolutely not pls take two."

We'll have to start asking ourselves which is worse: the risks of depriving ourselves of human interaction and the fulfillment that comes with meaningful social connection, or the risks of drinking and smoking?

I am, needless to say, no doctor, and can't advise one way or the other. The question, though, still needs to be asked. 

Loneliness Is Not Gender-Specific

 



The loneliness epidemic has hit us all hard, regardless of our immutable characteristics: race, gender, ethnicity...

While there has been talk of a "male loneliness epidemic," I've largely - if not completely - steered clear of using the term, for, from what I've read over the years, both men and women have been impacted. 

But, in the Left-wing outlet BuzzFeed - an unserious, clickbait-driven site that I honestly thought was now defunct - staffer Dannica Ramirez documents what the women of Reddit think about male loneliness. 

While some of the responses were thoughtful, drawing attention to the fact that men historically have been hesitant to open up to their friends and be vulnerable - most comments were nasty, saying that the male loneliness epidemic is largely "self-inflicted," with one user writing that "about 85% or more of the men complaining about it do it to themselves."

Another Reddit user wrote that "It's evidence that even men think most other men are not a joy to be around."

One commenter, however, wrote that "loneliness is something we’re all really struggling with, regardless of gender." 

That's exactly my feeling, too. From the data I've consumed - and, trust me, I've read a lot about this issue over the past few years - loneliness is an equal opportunity killer: it does not discriminate based on any single criterion. 

Thus, combating loneliness and social isolation ought to be a gender-inclusive battle, wherein both men and women can take actionable steps to foster community. 

The issue of loneliness need not be another point of division between the sexes; we have politics for that.

Let this be a joint struggle. 

How Men Lose Themselves in Relationships

 

By Christopher Turturro

Men need the companionship of the fairer sex to go through life, but they also need friends, particularly of the same sex, who function as indispensable support systems. 

My intention here is to address the role that men play in their own downfall when it comes to relationships, and what I've learned from my experience with dating.

Some men, it should be noted, are voluntarily stepping away from dating and marriage altogether due to financial and emotional concerns. They are, of course, free to make their own choices, and I would say the topic of conversation here doesn't much apply to them. Rather, I'm speaking to men who are lonely and looking for love. 

This is what I personally believe they should do to give themselves better chances.

Around the age of 30, people start to focus more on meeting a long-term partner and starting a family.

As a man who just recently turned 30, I've noticed many changes around me, especially in my circles. People start to have priority-shifts, different interests, and different goals. Life is no longer solely about careers, friendly get-togethers, and fun. Around the age of 30, people start to focus more on meeting a long-term partner and starting a family.

This is all a part of life. Generally speaking, it's what most people want to do: get married, start families, live happily ever after, etc. This is all fine and good, though I see a major issue with how men change their personality and entire identity when they date. 

Often when men start to date, their entire disposition changes: they neglect their friendships, hobbies fall by the wayside, and they make their whole personality about making their significant other happy. I vehemently disagree with this, and I'll tell you why. When someone meets you and takes an interest in you, they like you for who you are and the hobbies you have in life, whether that be reading, fitness, traveling, or whatever. So often men are completely willing to give it all up to make their wives/girlfriends happy. While doing this may come off as sweet and caring, it also shows that you have no backbone or structure and are willing to bend at any second to appease your partner at the expense of your friends.

Women do not respect that, and most often will find it unattractive (That's been my personal experience, and many others' I've witnessed). As a man, you need to be able to prioritize yourself and your needs in a healthy way, without being selfish. The truth is that there are some things that women will never understand when you try to speak to them about your issues, just as there are some things that us men won't be able to understand when our girlfriends try to speak with us about women-specific issues. This is why maintaining a good, healthy social circle is so beneficial: it provides us with a support system of like-minded individuals. Again, this is something women are phenomenal at, and men lack completely.

If you come to depend entirely on one person, you're in for a rude awakening if things fall through. 

I've also observed that tons of men are very afraid to live their life on their own. They feel the need to have a partner by their side every step of the way. They won't take time off and vacation alone, they won't go out and have a bite to eat alone, or basically explore life while single alone. All these things help you identify who you are, find what makes you happy, and give you stability to not solely lean on your partner as your entire source of happiness. If you come to depend entirely on one person, you're in for a rude awakening if things fall through. 

For whatever reason, tons of men just can't get this through their head, or perhaps they allow their partners to control certain aspects of their lives. Again, as a man, you have to be able to put your foot down and set standards and boundaries for yourself. 

Men, after all, deserve happiness, dignity, and the empowering feeling of independence and self-actualization. 


Christopher Turturro, born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, is an HVAC mechanic and 
U.S. Air Force veteran.

Southern Italy and Amoral Familism

 



Last week, I wrote the following article for RealClear Books & Culture: 


It's a provocative title, for sure, but I doubt many southern Italians would disagree with the thesis.  

In a nutshell: Americans are increasingly distrusting, not only of our institutions, but of each other, and societies that are typified by distrust - there is no better example than southern Italy - are stunted by the constraints of their own ethos. If America continues to abandon its Tocquevillian tradition, it will begin to look and feel more like southern Italy, and that's not a good thing.

From the article:
In our semiquincentennial year, Americans must look to southern Italy as a blueprint for what not to do. That is not to say that southern Italy is not breathtakingly beautiful (just Google images of Roccella Ionica, where my father was born), or that its inhabitants aren’t a good and decent people. It is to say, however, that their lack of institutional and neighborly trust, if adopted here, would further erode our country’s civic fabric.

Give it a read, and let me know what you think.

P.S. My friend, Madison, whom I met through her online series, Can it Third Place?, interviewed me for her Substack. You can read that here

Credit for above image: Kaye, George Frederick, 1914-2004. Italian peasant women cook on open fires while transport passes on 5th Army Front, southern Italy, World War II - Photograph taken by George Kaye. New Zealand. Department of Internal Affairs. War History Branch :Photographs relating to World War 1914-1918, World War 1939-1945, occupation of Japan, Korean War, and Malayan Emergency. Ref: DA-05233-F. Alexander Turnbull Library, Wellington, New Zealand. /records/22754865

Why Cultural Difference Matters

 



"Culture counts," writes Samuel Huntington in his widely-cited work, The Clash of Civilizations, "and cultural identity is what is most meaningful to most people."

This is indisputable. Our culture, whatever it might be, gives us a sense of greater belonging. Without it, we are nothing but a hodgepodge of free-floating, tetherless individuals. 

Thus, when disparate cultures encounter each other, there is often tension and conflict. And tension and conflict do not create fertile soil for civil society. 

In the U.S. and in Europe, unprecedented levels of non-Western immigration have fundamentally changed the cultural character and identity of Western countries. 

In Governing, Alan Ehrenhalt highlights this phenomenon:
There's no doubt that places affected by heavy in-migration are losing a civic culture that once was their leading source of pride. Old-timers walk down their town’s Main Street and hear conversations in languages they can’t understand. They are exposed to culinary customs they had never experienced before and confronted with foods that taste strange to them. There are new and unfamiliar religious practices. All of this is unsettling, to say the least, and for some long-time residents, a source of profound anxiety.
That isn't to say, of course, that there aren't profound benefits to cultural mixing. 

I was recently watching Concert for George, the live tribute to George Harrison from 2002. As a kid, I always loved the rendition of Harrison's The Inner Light, featuring Jeff Lynne of ELO on guitar and vocals, Anoushka Shankar on the sitar, and a traditional Indian ensemble behind them. 

I would describe that as a remarkably successful encounter between the East and West. If you haven't already experienced it, you're missing out.

Not all inter-cultural encounters, however, result in something beautiful. In fact, most don't. 

The reason for this is actually pretty simple: culture - which is defined by a people's norms, behaviors, traditions, and so on - vary from place to place. The West and non-West present us with two very different outlooks on life. 

For instance, Huntington writes that "both Westerners and non-Westerners point to individualism as the central distinguishing mark of the West." Few will actually debate this. "For East Asians," Huntington continues, "success is particularly the result of the East Asian cultural stress on the collectivity rather than the individual."

Such different temperaments, which are so deeply rooted, make coexistence difficult, if not nearly impossible. 

Some in academia have landed themselves in hot water for making such assertions. 

In a December 2021 interview with the great Glenn Loury, University of Pennsylvania Law School Professor Amy Wax asked the following about Asian students in academia: "Does the spirit of liberty beat in their breast?" 

Wax was underlining the cultural difference between Westerners, who have a long tradition of maximizing liberty and individual autonomy, and non-Westerners, who are much more deferential and collectivistic. 

In response to the interview, Theodore Ruger, then the dean of UPenn's law school, called Wax's remarks "xenophobic and white supremacist."

Wax, it should be noted, is Jewish and thus will probably not be welcomed at many so-called "white supremacist" meet-ups.

Amy Wax on The Glenn Show

And YouTuber Nick Shirley, who in December of 2025 shed light on the rampant Somali fraud in Minnesota, hasn't had an easy go of it either. Shirley, who made no racial claims, showed viewers what a non-Western takeover of a great American state looks like. In the video, the Somalis of Minnesota are referred to, by himself and locals, as "close knit." That is, they are insular, hostile to outsiders, and unwilling to assimilate to their host country. 

Shirley, in response to the video - which, to date, has accrued nearly 4 million views on YouTube and likely led to Governor Tim Walz suspending his reelection bid - was called a white supremacist and accused of creating "political propaganda."

The point: cultural difference is real, and calling it out is real dangerous. 

To be clear, both Western and non-Western temperaments have their strengths and weaknesses. This is not a battle of the cultures. That's not something I care to engage in. The bottom-line, though, is that making the distinction and articulating the drawbacks of multiculturalism shouldn't be taboo. 

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