The country needs more children. If we have them, we'll end up alright.
"I tried hard to have a father but instead, I had a dad." - Kurt Cobain lyrics from "Serve the Servants" on Nirvana's final studio album, In Utero.
I've always taken this lyric to be a line about Kurt Cobain's contentious relationship with his dad. Like so many in Gen X, Cobain was a child of divorced parents. His cohort was the first to experience the consequences of the liberalization of family law in the 1960s and 1970s. This line has long had me thinking about the genuine differences between being a father and being a dad. And, aside from mere preference and semantics, I think there is a difference.
The Cool Dad vs. Fatherhood
Around the time elder-Millennials were little kids, all of the cultural and family programming in our society moved from the fatherhood example best displayed in the classic TV shows, Father Knows Best, Leave It To Beaver, and The Andy Griffith Show, to shows that cast the father as incompetent and foolish at worst, and trying hard to be young, cool, and relatable at best.
Beyond that, it became cool to mock the prior model as well as the decade it was most associated with: the 1950s. Now, I have long been a defender of the 1950s and written about that often, but I haven't focused in on what has long been in my head.
Civilization needs strong fathers again. Not dads. We need moral lessons, wholesomeness, and fathers more interested in preparing their children for the world than being their best friend.
A dad that is your friend, he may spend time with you, he may even coach your little league team, and there is something to be said about this model, but two straight generations of "cool dads" are not cutting it. The Millennials have been slow to grow up and now Gen Z (predominately the children raised by Gen X) is.
What are we returning to, and why should we return to it? We're returning to father knows best. Why? Because society needs it and today's social and family statistics will tell us that new parents are older and older anyway, making the "cool dad" model more obsolete, and possibly ridiculous.
While on pro-natalist and national renewal grounds we should be very concerned about declining birth rates, there are some silver linings to older parentage. We have seen this before.
Older Greatest Generation Parents
There are only two ways to mature in life: packing in the years gradually, or packing in the experiences into a small number of years. The Greatest Generation had both of these features. Coming of age during the Great Depression and a World War, the generation both had to grow up fast and because of what was going on in the world delayed forming families, especially relative to the era.
Many returning GIs were well into their 30s before they became parents. My grandfathers, for instance, both WWII veterans, had seven children in their 30s and 40s between them. They had the life experiences and the necessary perspective that each generation since simply doesn't have. Not even close.
Younger Boomer Parents
A critique of what in my view is clearly the greatest generation may be, well... they raised the Boomers. How good of parents could they have possibly been? One, Boomers were set up incredibly well by their parents both from a familial perspective and a societal one. While the 1960s opened up considerable cultural rifts between who would be the elder-Boomers and their GI generation parents and elders, it is hard to find a Boomer that would have a critical word to say about this generation. Two, Boomers were the first generation to be mass marketed as a generation at all. In both childhood terms, and mass marketing terms. While their slightly older Silents were the beginnings of youth culture, Boomers got it fully and then began driving the culture and writing all of the narratives that are still with us today.
Boomers were also able to get married and have children in their 20s in ways their parents, and now their children, were not able to. It set them up for a long retirement, or at least a long post-raising their children period that has driven spending in the economy for quite some time, especially in housing. For instance, the median home buyer is 59 years old. Twenty years ago, it was 39. The same generational cohort (the youngest Boomers and elder Gen X) has basically been buying American homes for the near-entirety of the 21st century now. Housing sets the stage for so much second- and third-order decisions and spending too. If you have a house in the suburbs or a small town, you're going to buy more cars, and so forth.
Older Millennial Parents
While the Millennials flooded into the cities after college, chasing enough income to get their slice of the American dream, many have crashed into a wall of political turmoil and division, the college degree as an over-inflated and overrated status, and the incredible fatigue of being old enough to remember an America that was normal and having a childhood of expectations, but too young to really reap the rewards of a post-war, pre-9/11 America. But these days, Millennials are splitting from what this culture had pegged them as.
Being a parent is, objectively speaking, the most important thing you'll ever do. The most important job you'll ever have.
Gone is the progressive archetype of the college-educated Millennials of a diversifying and "fundamentally transformed" America. Millennial voting patterns are not surprisingly following along the lifespan of their Boomer parents (started more liberal, becoming more conservative with age, and we'll see about the rest). In the last decade, the marriage and family gap in partisan voting habits has been driven by realigning Millennials getting married, taking on starter home mortgages, and having children. And for the married men with children, now a +20% Republican voting constituency, fatherhood, as opposed to being a dad or a cool dad, is taking on additional weight. Taking on the appropriate weight. Being a parent is, objectively speaking, the most important thing you'll ever do. The most important job you'll ever have.
57% of Millennial dads say that fatherhood is a core aspect of identity. This is a good thing. Millennial dads also spend three times as much time with their kids as the previous generation. This is also a good thing. Although the quality of that time and the imparting of moral and practical education will be more important than the quantity.
It is very important that Gen Z follows this father knows best era, with preferably one more kid than millennials are having.
We can turn this whole thing around, and it will start at home, where all true peace and prosperity comes from. And, not everyone is going to be Ward and June Cleaver. That's not a reasonable expectation, especially if you know the radical opposite. But we can all pick up the slack a bit, and if we do, I think the country will be alright in the long run.
If this sounds like white pill optimism, well of course it is. But that lesson is a lot more constructive and productive than the man-o-sphere (who are almost always childless). If you're not a father today, I don't care to hear about your views on masculinity. The only exception I'll make to that rule is if you're a veteran.
The country needs more children. If we have them, we'll end up alright.
The country needs more dads in homes, even the cool dad is preferable to no male role model at all. And family law reforms and balancing could speed this one along quite a bit. If we have more dads in homes, we'll end up alright.
The country needs more strong fathers as role models, who are focused on imparting moral lessons and passing on heritage and the received wisdom from ancestors. And strong father role models understand that the head of this model is faith in God, the marriage itself, and then the children. And the kids will be alright if father knows best again.
Troy M. Olson is an Army Veteran, lawyer by training, and co-author of ‘The Emerging Populist Majority’ available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Target. He is the Sergeant-at-Arms of the New York Young Republican Club and co-founder of its Veterans Caucus. He has appeared on CNN, CBS, and OAN. He lives in New York City with his wife and son, and is the 3rd Vice Commander (“Americanism” pillar) of the first new American Legion Post in the city in years, Post 917. You can follow him on X/Twitter and Substack at @TroyMOlson
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